Are you letting someone else’s loaded bar prevent you from lifting what you’re capable of? A friend of mine told me a story that I didn’t fully appreciate in its entirety until right now…
She was in a competition and going head-to-head with a girl beside her; both were fighting for first place and both had the potential to win it.
The lift was a five-rep max bear complex and the clock was running. If you’re not familiar with the bear complex, to keep it simple, picture picking a heavy bar off the floor and doing a few squats and shoulder presses with it five times in a row.
It matches the burpee for likes. It’s probably one of the least favourite lifts because it’s so taxing and if you ask me, very effective.
My friend did her five reps at 125 pounds. She knew this was as heavy as she would be able to go. The girl beside her had just finished 120 pounds but had more in her tank. There was still time remaining on the clock. They rested and my friend’s husband, knowing she had maxed out, told her to load her bar to 135 and rest as if she was going to finish with that weight.
The girl next to her saw 135 on the bar and of course, in an effort to win, went heavier than she maybe would have. As a result, she wasn’t able to complete the lift. The weight was too heavy for her. The loaded bar that never got picked up by my friend won her first place.
Winning is winning. In this case it was a psychological win and it counts.
Had the other girl picked up 130 it could have won her first place but even 125 would have given her a tie for first. Instead, she let the appearance of what someone else was doing distract her from simply doing what she was capable of.
Sometimes we think we should be doing what others are doing.
This thinking could prevent us from winning at what we are great at doing.
Obviously, in a competitive setting, things are different but the story got me thinking about rosy Instagram pictures and the Facebook highlight reel. Our culture is thick with a focus on what others appear to be doing and from the outside, it usually looks picture-perfect, even if it’s not.
There’s nothing wrong with scrolling, but the minute you stop and let someone else’s highlight reel take the focus off your own life is the same minute you need to exit the room.
Don’t be fooled by someone else’s pretty picture or loaded bar. Lift the weight that you can lift and the one you were meant to lift. Focus on your purpose and capabilities and simply put – play the game you were meant to play rather than trying to play someone else’s.
When we look outside ourselves to what others appear to be doing we can lose, even when we were fully capable of winning, and not because we weren’t strong enough, or smart enough or amazing enough, but because we weren’t laser focused on our own bar and our own abilities.
As Michelle Dede says so well, “Focus on your own race, in your own lane, at your own pace, and you will win.” The bottom line? Don’t try to do what you think someone else is doing. Focus on what you can do instead – that’s how winning is done.
***
This is a monthly opinion piece; Alison Brown is a local business owner, mother and published author.
