If you cast your attention at all to the app TikTok, then I am sure you have seen the recent trend circulating about math and all its variable forms.
I personally have seen many short videos explaining girl math, boy math, and even dog math. All are comical because, unlike the math you learned in high school, they are not simple black-and-white answers.
A perfect example of girl math is if you buy something in cash, it is essentially free because you don’t see a deduction on your bank statement for the item you purchased. It is not exactly correct, but this is what they call girl math.
An example of boy math is not returning a $20 shirt that is too small because you value your time spent returning the shirt to be greater than $20, so you keep the shirt – even though it doesn’t fit you. Again, questionable but this is boy math.
One more boy math example for good measure. If you receive paid time off work, and you choose to go golfing during that time, you are a professional golfer because you are being paid to golf. That is boy math.
Perhaps the best, at least in my opinion, is dog math. Dog math is if there are 15 chew toys on the floor but one is stuck under the couch, the dog has zero chew toys. This is dog math.
Funny, right?
If you’re still not getting it, let me lay it all out for you. This trend is showing the way we justify poor or funny decisions we make, especially when it comes to money.
I have enjoyed this trend, so much so that I have come up with my own made-up math. I call it municipal council math.
Let me give you some real-life examples from council meetings I have attended or read about.
Municipal council math is justifying a $25,000 increase to an annual $9,000 line in the 2024 budget because that money hadn’t been spent in the last two years. This actually means it will only be a $7,000 increase since each year $9,000 was budgeted. This is municipal council math.
Now because I am a spectator to all council meetings I attend as a journalist, I don’t get the opportunity to disagree with their mentality. However, I am taking my chance to do so now.
Maybe I’m incorrect but I’m pretty sure that when you budget $9,000 annually but don’t spend it, an additional $9,000 is not added to the budget line each year. So even if the money is not spent three years in a row, there is still only $9,000 allocated to that budget line, not $27,000. If it was a transfer to reserves, my feelings would change, but that is not this example.
A second example of council math came forward during a conversation about how lower-level councils could combat the affordable housing crisis and whether or not building new houses improved the problem, or contributed to it. It was the opinion of a councillor that creating affordable housing is as easy as upgrading your home.
The councillor said if they sell the house that they are living in now for $450,000 and buy an $800,000 house the developer just made, then the developer has just created affordable housing because the old house was for sale for a reasonable price. This is what I would call council math, but that doesn’t mean it is necessarily correct.
First of all, $450,000 for a home is not affordable housing. Someone making minimum wage in Ontario brings home $30,000 a year. It is recommended that your expenses cost no more than 30 per cent of your annual income – therefore they can afford to spend $9,000 per year on a 20-year mortgage for a home worth $180,000.
Again, because journalists don’t often get the chance to oppose councillors during council meetings, this message was not passed on to the councillor.
Secondly, I’m surprised the councillor would not want to personally take credit for improving the affordable housing crisis rather than giving credit to the developer.
As a form of respect, I decided not to name the councils or councillors that I have poked fun at here in this column. That is because I truly respect the work that they do, however when you spend as much time as I do watching council meetings unfold, you need to laugh or else you might cry.
Municipal council may not be the most exciting form of government but it is perhaps the one level of government that impacts the regular day-to-day the most. As a journalist who regularly covers municipal politics, I consider a large part of my job to be spicing up council, or making it exciting thus encouraging people to engage.
I truly believe that a council with zero engagement will not be successful, as they will be disconnected from the citizens it serves.
If you are a regular reader of Midwestern Newspapers, you might be in on this inside joke. If not, I hope that I have piqued your interest and encouraged you to participate with your municipal council.
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Kelsey Bent is a Local Journalism Initiative reporter with Midwestern Newspapers. She can be reached for comment or feedback by emailing kbent@midwesternnewspapers.com.
