I’ve seen my fair share of local hockey games over the years. I’ve spent many Saturday nights at the rink covering a PJHL game and many weekends at the rink taking pictures of minor hockey tournaments.
When my two boys decided they wanted to try the game, that meant more time at the rink. Being a hockey fan, I don’t mind one bit.
This year, being behind the bench of a U11 Local League team, I’ve paid that much more attention to the game.
This year on the bench, I can recall several times a referee made a bad call – or worse yet, didn’t make a call – that led to a goal. During one recent game, the referee didn’t blow his whistle when one of our players was injured. Unfortunately, this led to our opponent tying the game.
We lost that game in overtime.
Naturally, the parents and coaching staff were upset that the referee missed such a call. However, one of our coaches is wise beyond his years and said this before going into the dressing room to speak to the kids: “Hey, we’re only human. Mistakes happen. I know I’ve made mistakes before, and I’ll make them again.”
With that, he went into the room and told the heartbroken kids that they left it all out on the ice, were the victim of some bad bounces, and had nothing to be ashamed of in losing that game.
“It was beyond our control.”
In the car on the way home, my son was still upset that his team lost the game “because of a stupid referee.”
“Competitive Mike” agreed with my son – it was a blown call, and everyone in the building could see it – but “Parent Mike” had to take some of that wisdom shown by the other coach on our team and build on it.
I explained to my son that the referee is just like you – young and learning the game. The ref, who appeared to be in his late teens, had probably only refereed a handful of games and wasn’t sure what to do at the moment, I said.
“We all make mistakes.”
After a small outburst from my son about the ref needing his eyes checked, I chuckled and tried explaining it again.
“Hey, so you know how you got a penalty earlier for hitting that player by accident?”
“Yeah…”
“That was a mistake on your part, right?” I asked.
“Yeah…”
“You were going for the puck, giving it your best effort, and you knocked him down,” I said. “You didn’t mean to hit him, but in all of the excitement of the game you did.”
He sat there for a moment, digesting what I said.
“So, you’re saying he didn’t know what he was doing because there was so much going on?” he asked.
I explained that could have been the case – the other team was firing lots of shots at our goalie, the crowd was loud cheering for both sides, and it was late in the game.
“He made a mistake, and unfortunately it led to a goal,” I said. “Just like you’re learning the game, so is the referee.”
His silence, to me, was acknowledgement that perhaps I was right. It also made me realize that I said something very smart without even knowing it.
In minor hockey, the goal is to develop the skills of the players so they can enjoy the game of hockey. Our entire focus appears to be on the players.
However, we need to put greater effort into developing referees as well.
At the beginning of the season, my son’s minor hockey organization had four referees.
And why? Because many referees quit due to being yelled at by parents, among other things.
Now, I believe that number is up to 10 or 11.
As important as it is to develop younger players to keep our local minor hockey organizations growing, we also need referees – without them, there are no games.
So next time you’re watching your kid or grandkid playing and you see a questionable call, remember that this is only minor hockey and the referee is still learning, just like the kids on the ice are.
After all, we’re only human and making mistakes is how we learn.
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Mike Wilson is the editor of Midwestern Newspapers. Comments and feedback are welcome at mwilson@midwesternewspapers.com.
