Being a volunteer keeps me young. This is my story.
I have been a volunteer since I first started working. My first volunteer gig was helping to collect funds from employees of my company for the United Appeal. No, it was not my favourite activity, but I was new and low on the totem pole.
For my next 50 years I avoided fundraising, but I did volunteer to be on or head various committees in areas that interested me, such as golf, tennis, concert organizations, health issues, marketing, etc.
Then in 2007 a major shock – I lost my wife (I was 68years old), six months from health to death. I was literally on my own. My kids lived too far away to actively help for long. My wife and I had planned to spend winters in our villa in Florida and summers in Canada on our 10-acre, old farm home and property. That all came to an end with her death from cancer in 2007. She first took sick in Florida, then we flew home in March, in an ambulance plane, where she entered hospital in Newmarket. She died on May 6, 2007. I sold my small business and tried to manage life by myself. Not easy.
I went back to Florida the following November and enlisted the grieving, counselling services in the local hospice. Returning to Canada in March 2008, I decided to volunteer for our local hospice in Alliston. Two wonderful volunteers interviewed me for a volunteer position. It became very evident to me, and to them, that I had not really grieved the loss of my wife – I broke down in tears and quickly became a patient of the hospice. To shorten the story, next year I took the 30 hours of training to become a volunteer. Learning to ‘listen’ was one of my hardest tasks. The training was terrific. The creation and growth of this hospice was really due to a strong crew of volunteers led by two people who were passionate about the role of a hospice in their community.
It was one of the best decisions that I made in all my life. I spent approximately 10 hours per week volunteering in the Alliston Hospice and about two hours per week volunteering for the hospice in Florida, when there. Helping people who were in their last time on Earth to recognise all the great things that they have done in their lives gave me a very good feeling. Learning to listen was put into practise and the experience was very rewarding for me.
I got my life together again and remarried in 2012. My wife and I both volunteered with the hospice in Alliston and Florida. In 2013, a diagnosis of a type of Dementia caused us to reconsider our lives. We moved from the busy city of Alliston to The Bridges of Seaforth, basically retirement community. I enrolled in the memory program run by my new primary care doctor in Seaforth and was introduced to the Alzheimer’s Society of Huron County (ASHC). I became a patient and, a year later, a volunteer, as I am today. So, I went looking for ‘volunteer opportunities.’
I had a couple of ‘coffee’ meetings with Cathy Ritsema, the Executive Director of the ASHC. I was looking for a significant volunteer activity with the ASHC. She came up with the idea: “Why don’t you write a column about your experiences with dementia for our monthly e-newsletter?” I thought that this was a great idea and “My Voyage with Dementia” began. And, it continues as long as I am able.
This was my way to give back for a great life and to give the people of Huron County an on-going basis of what being diagnosed with dementia is all about. This is my 105th column that I have written for the Wingham Advance Times. I have no experience as a writer but I thought it was worth a shot. It has worked out well for me because I came to understand Dementia as a patient and for a number of my readers who came to appreciate that Dementia is not the end of the world.
My passion was my dementia. The loss of my previous wife got me into serious volunteering and, I think, saved my life. It gave me interest, energy and direction – things we all need. Playing better golf was not just enough!
How did I learn a lot about Dementia and me? By volunteering for clinical trials, research, etc. For example, last week, I went to the Gait and Brain Lab in London for my fifth (every six months) Dementia evaluation (takes two hours each). This is part of a five-year research study that they are running. The results of each session give me a good idea of whether or not my Dementia is progressing to Alzheimer’s or another Dementia. Very valuable information for my wife and I.
The Gait and Brain Lab at Parkwood Institute is looking for volunteers. I was No. 291 and they now have 370 and hope to get more. Their telephone number is 519-685-4292 ext. 4292. They are looking for people with concerns with memory loss or other concerns about dementia. Great opportunity for many.
In exciting personal news, last week I was awarded the Gandon Award as the ASHC Top Vounteer for 2021. This is the first time for such an award for me!
Volunteering keeps me active, and, if you read these columns, you have heard repeatedly that movement – i.e. being active – is critical for a long. Trust me, I have slowed down the last three months and it has cost me. More to come in next column
My message is volunteer as much as you are able – it will pay off in keeping you active and healthy!
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Bob Murray is retired from the graphic communication (printing) industry and has been living in Seaforth since 2015. Murray was diagnosed with Dementia in 2013 and works hard to stop the progress of the disease to AD. He shares his experiences in his column entitled “My Voyage with Dementia”. Follow him on his blog entitled Voyage with Dementia – https://myvoyage553264702.wordpress.com.
