I keep waiting for things to start feeling “normal” again. Absolutely, I am back to a lot of activities that I enjoy and I spend much less energy navigating public health restrictions in my work and my personal life. Yet, still I feel unsettled much of the time.
Some of that may have to do with the ambiguous way in which pandemics end. You don’t just wake up one morning and it’s over. Unlike wars where treaties mark the end of hostilities and the beginning of the rebuilding phase, there is not such clear distinction with a pandemic. COVID-19 is still with us and probably always will be in some form. While the pandemic has changed, it isn’t gone.
Similarly, while my stress has changed, I don’t know when this unsettled feeling will pass. One mental health expert suggested that recovering from a prolonged traumatic event takes at least as long as the event lasted – so for the COVID-19 pandemic, two-plus years. This gives me hope that maybe, gradually, in God’s timing, not mine, I will begin to feel more settled again and I have definitely seen some movement in that direction.
Yet, for now, I focus on living faithfully in the meantime. If you too find yourself unsettled because of the lingering impact of the pandemic or anything else that might be going on in your life, here’s a few thoughts from wise people that I am holding on to these days:
First, look for God in the midst of any struggle. In times of stress, I hold fast to Isaiah’s assurance from God: “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; when through the rivers, they won’t sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you won’t be scorched and flame won’t burn you.”
Second, seek joy. Find the moments that you can celebrate right now even if they are very tiny. I love the poem “Halleluiah” by Mary Oliver which starts: “Everyone should be born into this world/happy and loving everything/But in truth it rarely works that way/For myself, I have spent my life clamoring toward it/Halleluiah, anyway I’m not where I started!”
Third, do something positive. Whether it is an act of self-care or a kindness for someone else, just taking action can be a powerful way of living fully in the midst of uncertainty. As Mr. Rogers put it: “There are three ways to ultimate success: The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind.” Kindness towards self and others is something that we can choose whatever our life circumstances.
We live in a strange time when for many people it seems like the pandemic is over and we should all have recovered by now. If you don’t yet feel fully recovered, know that you are not alone. Go gently.
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Beth Kerr serves as minister of Trinity and Atwood United Churches.
