My answer is to do both.
After all, if I cannot self-love and take care of myself, then taking care of myself (self-care) and others is most difficult. I hope that you honoured your spouse, partner or caregiver on Valentine’s Day. I did! It is the one day in a year that I can truly honour my wife (and in my case, my caregiver) for the love and attention that she gives me all year long. I am very lucky to have such a great wife.
I have a dementia and an autoimmune disease, as well as being 82-years-old. Plus, I am very independent and do not like to be told what I should do. Well, I believe it and it works for us. I’m a handful but she manages me very well. It has taken a while (married for eight years) but I have finally learned to do what she wishes me to do. February is the “love” month. Instead of just being loving on Feb. 14, Valentine’s Day, I’m going to work on being loving every day. My wife is the warm and fuzzy person and I am trying to get there too.
The greatest negative for brain health (dementia) is stress, anxiety, frustration, etc. A loving attitude, from the first thing that you wake up in the morning, ‘till you go to bed will work wonders to eliminate stress. The big plus is that you will also sleep better and longer. Love is the magic cure for many things. Self-love is considered an important aspect of self-esteem and overall well-being. Researchers have discovered that practicing self-love is associated with an increase in happiness, greater satisfaction with life, and greater resiliency and self-love has been proven to:
– lower levels of the stress hormone, cortisol (helps your body respond to stress);
– regulate blood sugar; and
fight infections.
Practising self-love also gives me great benefits and results in an increased level of:
– dopamine (for pleasure, satisfaction and motivation);
– oxytocin (for warm fuzzy feeling);
– serotonin (helps regulate mood); and
– a strengthened immune system.
Self-care is another matter. My dementia solution, as a non-pharmaceutical intervention, has been left up to me. I live in the rural area of southwestern Ontario, where there are few medical specialists that have been able to help me. Since my diagnosis in 2013, I have worked hard to understand all these dementias and I feel that I am doing quite well. My family doctor has said that she will send a referral for me to any specialist that I can find and I have found few but most cannot help me. I do have specialists for my dermatomyositis (DM), but not my dementia.
My autoimmune disease – dermatomyositis (DM) – was taking control of my body for five months before I got to see a specialist doctor and got really good help. I am still wrestling with DM and progress is slow but positive. I have learned a lot and hope that this knowledge will carry me on for many more years. The DM was caused by a large (6.3 cm) melanoma situated in my upper chest near my left armpit. It was surgically removed on Dec. 10, 2021.
In the future, with the elimination of LHINs, and being replaced by OHTs (Ontario Health Teams) with OTN (Ontario Telemedecine Network) we will have to practise more self-care than in the past. That means that we will have to prioritize our health as a whole person. I already find it most difficult to see my doctor and I’m afraid that it will get worse before getting better. Change is always hard. But at least the OHT is going in the right direction.
I have learned to live with osteoarthritis in knees and thumbs, a hearing impairment with a cochlear implant, three cancer surgeries, dementia – MCI due to AD and dermatomyositis (DM). Last week I had an ultra sound and this week I meet with my oncologist to discuss cancer, I get two infusions of three hours each on successive days, a meeting with my rheumologist regardinfg my DM, a pulmonary test of my lungs and a chest X-ray. A busy week. But I have a need to know how I am doing, so busy it is. I am still on a direct feed into my stomach. No eating of solid foods as yet.
The good news is that I am now swallowing puddings and small amounts of other smooth foods. Hopefully, I find out in the next two weeks whether this DM autoimmune disease is getting better. And with all this I am increasing my exercising to keep my MCI from progressing. “My Voyage with Dementia” continues. Please stay tuned.
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Bob Murray is retired from the graphic communication (printing) industry and has been living in Seaforth since 2015. Murray was diagnosed with Dementia in 2013 and works hard to stop the progress of the disease to AD. He shares his experiences in his column entitled “My Voyage with Dementia.” Follow him on his blog entitled Voyage with Dementia – https://myvoyage553264702.wordpress.com.
