When I was a kid, I had big dreams of playing in the National Hockey League.
Most Canadian kids do.
When I was 11 of 12, I thought I was a pretty good hockey player. I played on my local rep team – the team where all of the “good players” play – and scored my fair share of goals.
By the time I was 15 or 16, the realization that I was not as good as I thought I was set in. I tried out for my high school hockey team, and got cut. I didn’t have Junior C teams knocking on my door wanting me to try out. And the idea of playing AAA hockey was both ridiculous for cost and travel.
By the time I was 16, I quit playing the game I loved my entire childhood.
Why?
Because it was no longer fun.
Our team, at that time, was not very good. Winning is fun, and we weren’t winning. That was the main reason I quit playing hockey.
I was still an avid fan throughout my teens and college years, suffering as a Toronto Maple Leafs fan and playing more than my fair share of NHL ‘04 on the PlayStation 2 with my roommates. Heck, we played that game so much in the first semester of college that the PlayStation stopped working and we had to buy another system.
Hockey was fun again.
Both of my sons, at an early age, took an interest in hockey. There is a video on my Facebook feed somewhere of my son Duncan, now 8, running around the living room when he was about two years old screaming, “HOCKEY! HOCKEY! HOCKEY!” while I was watching a random NHL game on TV.
When they were able to sign up for minor hockey, they both jumped at the chance. And both took to it like a duck in water.
As they’ve gotten older and out of the development groups and into the competitive age groups (currently U9 and U13), they both still love hockey.
But I have begun to sour on it.
Why?
Hockey parents.
As a kid, I never realized how much drama there was in minor hockey. Parents complaining about a lack of ice time for their kid, or complaining that their kid has to play on a line with “that kid.”
One line I overheard at a local arena this year: “That kid doesn’t deserve to be on the same ice as my kid.”
And that was at a U13 Local League practice.
Then there are games.
Parents, for the most part, are pretty good about cheering on their kids. But when there is questionable refereeing, all bets are off.
You have parents yelling at the referee to do their job, learn how to blow a whistle, and to watch the same game they are watching.
It’s no wonder referees are hard to find in this day and age.
And after a tough game, there are the comments whispered in the lobby of the arena about how “we should have had a power line” or “if that kid would have skated, they wouldn’t have scored that goal.” Or better yet, “We would have won if that kid wasn’t in net.”
It’s tough to watch.
And these comments and attitudes, whether we know it or not, rub off on our kids.
I was at another local rink this weekend, where a practice was taking place on the ice. The team was split into two groups, and the goal of the drill was to see which group could score five goals on the goalie first. There was a goalie at each end. Meanwhile, in the stands was a pair of young boys – I’m guessing 10 or 12 years old – watching the events on the ice.
One goalie would make a save, and the two kids would chirp the player who didn’t score. At the other end, if the goalie allowed a goal they would cheer and say “you suck!”
All the while, an adult was present with them and appeared to be their parent or guardian. And they said nothing.
It was disgusting behaviour to see, especially in one of our local rinks.
I love watching the game of hockey, and my kids love playing the game of hockey. But somewhere along the way, we’ve lost sight of the fact that it is just that: a game.
Minor hockey is here to give our kids a place to play, a place to learn, and a place to be active. If they win games and tournaments along the way, that’s great. If they don’t, but are still competitive and having fun, that is also great.
The chances of someone making the NHL are very small, but the lessons learned through minor hockey – or any other sport – can be carried forward for years to come. As can the memories.
Let’s do better and make sure those memories are good ones, not ones of parents yelling at referees or complaining to coaches about the makeup of a team.
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Mike Wilson is the editor of Midwestern Newspapers. Comments and feedback are welcome at mwilson@midwesternnewspapers.com.
