As the holiday season swings into high gear, it seems odd to be thinking about such issues as domestic violence, mental illness and substance abuse.
Yet this is the very time of year when we should be thinking about them. Delightful though the holidays are, they are also stressful.
Family gatherings bring to the surface old feelings and memories, not all of them pleasant. Forget the jolly gatherings of rosy-cheeked cousins singing Christmas carols and roasting chestnuts on an open fire. People suddenly recall why they spend time with certain relatives only once a year. Normally well-behaved children alternate between whining in the corner and racing around like wild animals. And someone’s ne’er-do-well brother-in-law inevitably shows up three hours late, higher than a kite, with a “girlfriend” whose name escapes him.
This time of year, there seem to be too many opportunities to drink to excess, too much pressure to overspend to ensure everyone gets that perfect Christmas gift, and far too many things to do – decorations to put up, gatherings to attend, special events in which to participate, and shopping.
Add to that the stress this year of inflation, the high price of food and the return of seasonal flu, not to mention worries about repaying the government for that “free” COVID money.
If anyone is going to snap from too much stress, this is the time of year they will do it. We can put it down to something like seasonal affective disorder, appropriately known by the acronym SAD – feeling grumpy because the days are short, cold and gloomy. We can blame commercialism – weeks of getting bombarded with messages to buy this, cook that, and create a perfect cinnamon-scented ambiance for home, school and office. We can even blame COVID, which is still around.
In truth, there are those among us who are thinking back with unexpected fondness to COVID lockdowns that eliminated most holiday festivities – just quiet evenings, simple meals, and walks in the park – snow crunching beneath our feet, lights sparkling and nobody else around.
There are too many people in this community who are suffering from stresses most of us can only imagine. Fond thoughts of crock pot meals and relaxing walks in the park have been overpowered by scary stacks of unpaid bills on the kitchen table.
Most of us know someone whose thoughts this Christmas will be on that empty chair at the dinner table – a spouse or child who is in jail or rehab, or a parent who has recently passed away. There are families broken apart by divorce or illness.
And there is poverty. If the barrage of promotions for this toy and that must-have household gift overwhelm people who have a decent income, it is surely devastating to people who do not.
Those of us who are fortunate enough to be looking forward to gifts under the tree and a dinner with all the trimmings this Christmas – even if there is an inebriated uncle, squabbling in-laws and a very loud political activist in the mix – might consider relieving the stress by considering those who are in genuine distress.
We might make a last-minute donation to the food bank, church or a favourite charity. A good many of them depend on holiday giving to fund the good work they do all year.
We might put together a gift box to leave anonymously on the porch of a needy family. Every community has service clubs and church groups that organize such things.
We might sit down as a family and plan what charities we will support in the coming year, either through donations or as volunteers.
Even something like sharing coffee with a neighbour who seems withdrawn or stressed, can make all the difference in the world. A smile and an extra effort to be courteous, even when nerves are frayed, are wonderful ways to celebrate the holidays – they enrich both giver and recipient beyond belief.
A message to anyone who feels overwhelmed – this is a caring community. Help is available. Talk to someone, call 211 or in an emergency, 911.
