For many years, I have worked in various capacities as a nurse in the community with frail elderly. Many of them still reside at home or in a retirement home. While pushing well into their late 80s and 90s, these people try to make the best of life after experiencing many losses. In some cases, their friends and relatives have predeceased them. Their bodies fail and the day-to-day struggles continue to mount. They don’t like the dependent person they have become.
As you think about mom, dad, grandma, or grandpa, you might conclude that there is really nothing they need for Christmas. After all, it is probably going to be you who will have to dispose of their possessions when they are gone. Certainly, the younger generation is not interested in fancy dishes, stemware and other treasures from the past. So how can Christmas be meaningful for those seniors you love and who might be under your care?
Here are some observations and suggestions that might enhance the quality of life for your special frail elderly family members.
As people age, it is not unusual to gain weight due to becoming more sedentary or to lose weight due to loss of appetite. Clothing becomes too big or too tight to easily put on. Elastic waists rot and stretch, and slacks and underpants slide down. As legs swell due to circulatory issues, socks become too tight, leaving marks and ridges in the skin. Shoes might be too loose or too tight to wear safely. Tiny buttons and closures are a frustration for arthritic fingers. The frail elderly feel cold much of the time and need clothing options which provide warmth to the arms, legs and torso. Often, they spill food on clothing or have bowel/bladder issues requiring more frequent changes of clothing.
Your gift to your loved one could be to take some time to assess their wardrobe. Are the clothing items old, thin, stretched, shrunken or stained? Do they fit and do they go on easily? Are they warm? Will slacks/trousers stay up? Are they too long, posing a tripping hazard? Are closets and drawers full of clothing and mismatched items that are no longer suitable? Consider purging; you may have to do it on the sly.
In thinking about reducing wear and tear on their frail body and arthritic joints, and enhancing safety for your parent/grandparent, ask yourself – and them too:
Would they benefit from an electric riser chair (which could possibly be given as a Christmas gift)?
Is their favourite chair high enough so they can exit it with ease? Perhaps a raised platform would make a difference.
Would they benefit from grab bars in the bathroom? A raised toilet seat with arms? A good quality bath mat?
Can they manage exit points in their home? Would railings or grab bars make it easier?
Consider having an occupational therapist do an activities of daily living functional assessment.
When assistive devices are utilized, it often means the senior can remain in their home safely much longer.
Another idea is facilitating updating your loved one’s eyewear. Many frail elderly wear glasses, which are often outdated, scratched or bent. Similarly, hearing aids are wonderful but need to be maintained, cleaned and have the batteries replaced frequently.
Other personal care items useful for the elderly include denture tablets and lining product to secure the denture, good quality skin lotion for their dry skin, a functional electric razor, and eye glass cleaner. Even a new pillow can be helpful in providing better neck support.
Our community has many services for the elderly. Consider purchasing frozen meals to have on hand; private footcare (to properly deal with callouses, corns and bunions); day away programs, which offer socialization, a good meal and activities to break up the boredom of the days.
Don’t be upset if your family member declines your offer of going out somewhere; it may be too much effort for them. Most prefer that you come to them for a visit or a phone call. Loneliness is the biggest issue facing many frail elderly. They might not have much to tell you, but they do love to hear your stories. They also cherish your visits, even if they don’t tell you – that can also be your gift.
