It has been said throughout the years that the English language is one of the hardest to learn. Those of us who speak the language, for the most part, think it is easy – most of the time, anyway.
We’ve all run into situations where we struggle with getting words out – perhaps we are exhausted, or we’ve enjoyed one too many Puppers or Gus N’ Brus at the local watering hole. Those times can be hilarious. One time in college, in one of my all-nighters playing video games with my roommates, I once blurted the line, “I’m not the sharpest cookie in the drawer” when replying to a question about my intelligence.
In my defense, the cafeteria food was not the greatest, nor the cookies the freshest… but I digress.
We also have words that can, by sound alone, have multiple meanings.
Take the word “orange” for example – it is both a fruit and a colour. Or drop the “a” from the word and you have Ornge, pronounced the same as the fruit and the colour, but this word represents the charity that operates air ambulances in Ontario.
Another word in that category is cock.
The British use this word to describe a male bird, lobster, crab or salmon. The word also refers to the firing lever of a gun, which can be raised to be released by the trigger. It’s more commonly known here in Canada as a vulgar slang term for the male anatomy.
Then there is the word caulk, pronounced the same as its four-letter counterpart. This caulk, however, is a flexible material used to seal air leaks through cracks, gaps or joints less than a quarter inch wide.
It is this caulk that had my family roaring with laughter at the dinner table recently.
We’ve been doing some home renovations around the house, included some much-needed work in the main bathroom of the house. As I sat down at the dinner table on a recent Sunday night, my wife asked me for a project update.
“Well, got the room all painted. All that is left to do is install the trim and caulk,” I informed her.
The kids all started laughing.
In one of my most impressive improvisations to date, I quickly replied, “What’s so funny about caulk?”
They continued to laugh, obviously thinking I was speaking about the four-letter word, not the five-letter building material.
“Caulk is not something to laugh about,” I explained to continuing laughter.
“Dad, stop saying that word!” yelled my six-year-old daughter.
“What word? Caulk?”
“Yes!” she replied, laughing.
“Why? You can’t underestimate a good caulk,” I said. “A good caulk can fill the tightest of gaps.”
“Oh my gosh, Dad. Stop!” said my 12-year-old son, obviously embarrassed.
I looked him dead in the eyes.
“Caulk.”
Everyone at the table was laughing.
“What’s so bad about the word caulk?” I asked. “It’s a great building material that seals cracks and gaps…”
That’s when my oldest clued in.
“Wait, you mean you aren’t talking about…”
“No, I am not talking about the male anatomy,” I cut in.
“Good,” he replied. “That would have been embarrassing if that is what we were talking about at the dinner table!”
Our daughter, the youngest of the three, young enough to be oblivious to innuendo, chimed in next.
“Dad, what does a caulk look like?”
And yes, we’re still laughing about that one… isn’t the English language fun?
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Mike Wilson is the editor of Midwestern Newspapers. Comments and feedback are welcome at mwilson@midwesternnewspapers.com.
