Keep trying

My oldest son was cutting some paper when the scissors slipped and split the fabric on our couch wide open. This wasn’t the first time, and I hate to say it, but it probably won’t be the last either. Accidents happen, and honestly with three boys, they tend to happen a little more frequently than I would prefer (It’s the reason Graham and I don’t own expensive furniture yet).

Right away I got the needle and thread out to fix the cushion the best that I could. I’m not a sewer, but I can navigate the basics fairly well, and I knew I needed to get it done quickly. I’ve parented three boys long enough to know that if I didn’t sew it up fast, one of my boys was bound to pull on it and make it even worse. If left for too long, I would soon be in need of a new couch.

The only needle I could find was so tiny it made threading very difficult. I tried and tried and tried, but still I couldn’t get it threaded. My husband came in the room and tried as well, but he couldn’t get it either.

My youngest son watched as I tried again and again and again and still didn’t have success. He wanted to help too so he suggested I dip the thread in water, which I did a number of times. But still it didn’t work.

I thought about giving up. My middle son even suggested it out loud. The temptation to quit came just as I could feel the frustration building within me but for some reason, the longer I failed at threading that needle, the more motivated I became to do it.

Rather than open the door to frustration and let it convince me to quit, I decided to persevere. I made the choice, in that moment of temptation, that I would persist for however long it took me, no matter what. I was determined to thread that needle.

We all know the expression – ‘If at first you don’t succeed then try, try again’ – but in this case the tries needed to be multiplied by at least 10. Truthfully, it felt as if I had tried a hundred times. It took me 30 minutes to get that thread through the needle but I finally did it, and when I did, the sense of accomplishment I felt was so much bigger than it would have ever been had I gotten it in on only the first or second attempt.

The whole family cheered and as I sewed that tear, I couldn’t help but see how much we all love to celebrate success. It’s in our nature to be happy for others, especially when we’ve witnessed them fail over and over again. The longer someone takes to succeed, the more we cheer for them and the more we want to celebrate with them when they do. Persistence is inspirational. Watching it teaches us that not giving up is so important.

The whole experience got me thinking; most people don’t actually achieve their goal after the first or second try. If you research some of the most amazing inventions, you’ll discover that many of the greats behind them had a perseverance beyond human understanding.

They tried thousands of times before they ever came close to achieving their goal, and their secret to success was that they never gave up trying.

I wonder how many times someone told Thomas Edison to throw in the towel. I wonder how many times he thought about quitting himself. I’m certain that at some point the temptation to quit was big enough to in the least, entertain the thought.

January is on the horizon. With that comes a new year, and many times, new goals.

Among those are weight loss goals, health goals, financial goals and so on. The average new year’s resolution lasts only 17 days.

To ensure your success, it’s important to remember that whatever you set out to achieve, you may have to try more than once in order to achieve it. You may even have to keep trying after nine failed attempts.

It doesn’t make you less if it takes multiple tries – it makes you human. We all have seasons where it feels like nothing we try is working, but if we keep trying, we’re bound to win.

And guess what? The failed attempts are never truly fails because rather than fail, you’ll simply learn how not to do it and then you’ll learn how to do it. If you can keep your chin up, keep getting back up and have relentless perseverance and determination, you absolutely will get there, and the celebration will be so much bigger because it took you a few more tries.

My hope for you is that you won’t give up trying. My hope is that if at first or second or 10th attempt you don’t succeed, you’ll keep trying until you do because if so, you absolutely will.

So, as you set out to embrace a new year and a new goal remember this – success is only a guarantee if stopping is not an option.

Decide not to stop, even if the needle you’re holding seems impossible to thread. Because I promise you this, you will get there if you just keep trying, and that’s the only magic pill that works.

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This is a monthly opinion piece; Alison Brown is a local business owner, mother and published author.

Alison Brown