Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Matthew 5:9.
The story of Abigail the peacemaker is found in 1 Samuel 25. Abigail was the wife of Nabal, a wealthy, but decidedly unpleasant man. Nabal owned 3,000 sheep and 1,000 goats; he sent his livestock into the wilderness to graze under the care of sheep herders. David and his men provided protection for them while they were on the land.
When it came time to shear the sheep, Nabal prepared a huge feast, as was the custom. David had sent his men to Nabal to request a share in the feast, but Nabal refused to give anything to David’s men and made derogatory comments about David to David’s men.
Nabal’s response made David so angry he told his men to get their swords and prepare to slaughter every last member of Nabal’s household.
One of Nabal’s servants told Abigail what happened. Abigail quickly gathered together a small feast for David. Then she got on a donkey and rode out to meet David. When she encountered David and his men, Abigail acknowledged her husband’s wrong and offered her gift to make amends. Then she invited David to avoid taking actions that he would later regret. She asked David not to avenge himself.
Abigail’s words, along with her peace offering, calmed David’s anger. He recognized that she had kept him from murder. “Blessed be your good sense, and blessed be you, who have kept me today from bloodguilt and from avenging myself by my own hand!” David told her. (1 Samuel 25:33)
Abigail’s example provides us with some concrete steps for calming tempers and inviting peaceful relationships. None of these steps is easy, but they offer a way forward when tempers flair.
1. Acknowledge the wrong: When harm occurs, it is important to name it as wrong.
2. Take steps to repair the harm: Our words should be accompanied by actions.
3.Invite the injured party to forgive: In order to stop the cycle of violence, both sides must agree to end the conflict.
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Nancy Frey serves as pastor at Listowel Mennonite Church.
