“Stop being ashamed of how many times you’ve fallen and start being proud of how many times you’ve gotten back up.”
A client of mine recently shared this quote with me and confessed that she constantly beats herself up if she makes a mistake or slips up on her healthy eating. She rarely – if ever – celebrates getting back up.
She said, “I hadn’t ever even thought to be excited about getting back up. I’m usually still too stuck in negativity about having fallen to ever pause and be proud that I tried again.”
I’m the first to admit that she’s not alone in that arena. I fall every day. And though I try not to, sometimes I too get frustrated with myself for having done so.
Sometimes I literally fall; like the time I learned at indoor soccer that running in cleats on ceramic tile is a horrible idea (I fell in front of the front desk staff and two entire soccer teams). All eyes were on me as I glided across the floor after the soccer ball and landed on my knees.
Though I did get back up and keep playing, I sure didn’t celebrate that. I was embarrassed. I tried to laugh it off but the negative self-talk reel in my head kept reminding me of how clumsy I am, how I’m not so good at soccer, and how ridiculous I had just appeared.
Then there was the time when no one saw me crumble to my knees in my kitchen crying over spilled coffee and the loss of my dad. Grief’s waves will bring you to your knees when you least expect it.
Or the times I struggle every single day to get my workout in and choose the kale smoothie and resist the ever-present bags of candy my three boys eagerly collected for Halloween (those Reese’s peanut butter cups are just so delicious).
Humans have slipups. Humans make mistakes. Humans aren’t perfect. Humans fall down. Beating ourselves up for being human seems pretty silly.
And yet, we do it way too often and not often enough do we pause to be proud of ourselves and celebrate that we got back up, kept going or tried again.
Rather than being ashamed for slipping up on the nutrition plan or missing a workout, or trying something new and not being so great at it, we really should give ourselves the credit we deserve instead, and just be proud.
I think kids are really good at this. At age 11, my oldest son just started hockey for the first time. He missed a few years during shutdowns so it’s understandable that this year he’s not so great at it.
I was worried at first that he would be upset that we signed him up. I watched him skate across the ice the first day and shake his head no when he realized that the other kids were so good at hockey and he was still learning.
But what I love about kids is how quick they are to get back up and try again.
Afterwards he said, “I had fun, mom, and even though I’m not so great, I did pretty good with my shooting and I know I’ll get better every week.”
He taught me something right then and there – if you focus on what you CAN do and what you are good at and celebrate your efforts, you change your perspective for the better .
You take your power back when you pause and celebrate that you got back up.
The bottom line? We all fall, but it’s what you do next that matters most.
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This is a monthly opinion piece; Alison Brown is a local business owner, mother and published author.
